⋄ Provident Parties ⋄
Especially for Children!
It is a sad social commentary that the national market for children’s parties is beginning to rival that of the wedding industry. Psychologists are concerned about the negative impact this over-indulgence is having on our wee ones. Seven year olds feel neglected if they don’t have a limo for their guests and guests have been known to throw down ‘party bags’ that didn’t meet their expectations.
In addition to the psychological and developmental concers, let us consider the negative impact on our BUDGETS!! First, let me establish that I come from a long line of partiers, grew up in a very modest income family with four children and have raised four children. From my earliest memories, birthdays were special for the birthday celebrant, always recognized with fanfare, gifts were exchanged and sometimes friends invited over.
For my own children, they had ‘friend’ parties nearly every year and their parties were often the hot ticket of the kiddie social season. BUT, all of this celebrating did not require the overuse of plastic money, hired party consultants, a nervous breakdowns, no trips to commercial ‘crazy centers hosted by Robbie Rodent’’ and yet plenty of fond memories.
With all of that in mind, let me share some tips for recognizing the joy of someone’s existence and not blowing the budget producing over-stimulated little people (or big people).
Use the menu on the left to explore our many helpful hints, or just scroll down & start reading! And if you have any ideas for topics we might have missed, feel free to send them in!
- Party Planning -
- Remember, that the celebration is truly about celebrating the person–keep that in mind as you plan, invite, decorate and give a gift. Your time, attention and love are the best gifts of all.
- Always remember that any party is about the people–not impressing them, but enjoying them!
- Little children need very little parties. A good rule of thumb for the number of guests is the child’s age plus one. This number does not include immediate family members.
- A theme for your party can help you tie together decorations and adapt games. I prefer themes that are not motivated by the marketing department of the latest child’s TV show. You can adapt a TV show to a generic theme, making your decorating expenses lower. For example, if you child loves Thomas the Tank Engine, have a generic train themed party. You could throw in an element or two of Thomas, but look for less expensive ways to decorate than purchasing the ‘$49.95 all inclusive, extra deluxe Thomas Birthday Box.’
- Keep the menu simple and easy to accomplish. Involve the children as appropriate. One activity might be adding toppings to their own pizzas.
- Alternate physically active portions of the party with quieter portions.
- Be certain to have a gathering activity as the children arrive. This could be decorating the goodie bag or other such activity that children can join. Whatever they produce becomes either a take-home item or part of the decorations.
- If your children are in a ’social circle’ meet with the other parents and see if you can’t collectively reign in the Birthday Madness.
- Utilize your park system for parties. Many will allow you to reserve a cabana or other facility for little or no money. Use the great outdoors to your fullest potential!
- Keep the children busy and the party relatively short. Have a specific beginning and end time. Have the children ready to leave when the party is over to discourage mass chaos as parents and siblings join the throng. (Unless you like crowd scenes in your house)
- If you have a wide range in ages in your children, utilize the older ones in the party. They can be servers, pick up debris, run games and even dress up as clowns.
- Use your imagination!! Children love new things, surprises (not scary ones necessarily), laughing, building things and creating. Utilize their natural curiosity.
- Always have at least one capable, willing, eager to help adult to assist you for any child’s party.
- Pre-scoop ice cream onto waxed paper and keep in freezer. It will be easier and less messy to serve.
- Just say NO to the Mommy who wants you to include all of her children in your party. The party is for the invitee only, not their 4 siblings. We allowed this once and it was a disaster!!
- Party Activities -
- Let the children’s activities produce their ‘goodie’ bag. Have small, simple craft items such as painting a wooden train (for that Thomas party) or decorating a conductor’s hat be one of the party activities.
- Have the children decorate simple white lunch bags to take their goodies home. This is a great gathering activity for the party. You can, again, download pictures for the children to color and paste onto bag, supply stickers or just a bunch of crayons!
- Prizes for games can be added to the goodie bag. (Getting the picture–you are double dutying every item here)
- Look online for ideas for simple, old-fashioned children’s games. Bean bag tosses, ‘olympic’ relays, fishing games, hopscotch, crab walks are all great activities. Also check out Cub Scout guides and ‘Family Fun’ magazine at your local library. “Family Fun’ is a treasure chest of ideas, patterns, recipes and easy-to-do activities.
- Avoid games that will embarrass or hurt anyone. If you insist on doing a pinata, do so very safely. To avoid head-on collisions when the treats fall, consider bagging up treats in sandwich bags with each child’s name on a bag. If someone finds another’s bag, they can hand it to them.
- Decorating -
- Stock up on brightly colored disposable tablecloths when they are on sale. Let the children add stickers or other simple decorations. You can play a form of musical chairs by giving each child a sheet of stickers (that go along with the theme of the party) and play music as the children walk around the table. When the music stops, they put stickers on an area of the tablecloth closest to them until the music starts again.
- Make or buy some simple but re-usable decorations such as a birthday banner.
- Utilize the dollar store for throw-away decorations.
- First, check around your house for items that could be used. For example, for a cowboy party use a length of rope looped along the table as the centerpiece. Add some bandanas and toy horses!
- Decorate plain, inexpensive disposable cups and plates with theme-appropriate stickers or other add-ons.
- For any party, look around the house for things that can be used to decorate. Cake plates, colored plates, candles, silk flowers, masks, cheap jewelry, fabric, even the pockets from old blue jeans can become decorations.
- I keep a bag of balloons in the house so that we can celebrate at any time! I simply blow them up and hang them from the chandelier. Hang up the celebrate banner and we can celebrate any milestone in minutes!
- To easily decorate a cake (at a fraction of the cost of a store bought one), simply bake a 9×13″ pan cake. Remove promptly from the pan, wrap loosely in plastic wrap and freeze solid. Remove when frozen (you can leave it in the freezer for months by the way) and place onto a piece of cardboard that is covered in aluminum foil. Ice while still frozen and then return to freezer. While the cake is freezing, simply trace, download or draw whatever figure you want on the cake. Color it with permanent markers (or print it out colored) and then cut out the figure. For instance if it was Thomas again, you would get a good graphic of Thomas and then cut him out so that it was just Thomas. Lightly press waxed paper to the wrong side of your graphic and trim to the same outline as Thomas. You can also iron the waxed paper onto your graphic carefully. Cover your ironing surface with paper, place image wrong side up, cover with waxed paper, another piece of plain paper & press with cool iron. Remove your cake from the freezer and decorate the edges with colored icing or just candy (kids like that better anyway). M&M’s, mini-M&M’s, Reese’s Pieces, Smarties, Starburst & Skittles all work well. You can often find speciality shaped candies in the grocer’s bulk food aisle to add some really interesting colors & ideas! Gently place your graphic in the middle of the cake. Add candles in a bright color and you have it done for less than $4 or $5.
- Another simple decorating idea is to purchase a toy or two that represents your theme, wash well and use as decoration on cake. Your child gets to keep the toy!
- Better yet, if the children are old enough bake, freeze and ice a batch of cupcakes. Lay out an assortment of sprinkles, little candies and the like. Place an iced (or let children ice them if they are old enough) cupcake in front of each child. If you place the cupcake on a paper coffee filter, the work area will stay cleaner. Let them add their own decorations. If each child decorates two, they can eat one at the party and take the other with them as a ‘gift’.
- Gift Giving -
- Keep your family gift giving separate from the friend party.
- Some children may prefer a family outing or special activity rather than a gift. That is great! Encourage that sort of thinking in your children.
- Make a big deal of opening gifts. Have the birthday child sit in a special chair. If there are children at the party, have a chair next to the birthday child. When it is, for instance, time for Timmy to give Junior his gift, Timmy sits next to Junior while Junior opens the gift. This cuts down on chaos, helps your child recognize who gave him the gift and thank them appropriately. Don’t allow packaging to be removed from the toy during the party! Put each toy up out of reach as it is opened.
- Don’t go overboard buying gifts, especially when the children are young. Listen to them about what they want and try to find one really special thing. If your children have indulgent grandparents, talk to them about gift-giving ideas. Consider opening a savings account that relatives can contribute to instead of multiple and/or costly gifts.
- Shop all year at super-clearance sales, yard sales and estate sales for gift giving ideas.
- Special Memories -
- Make the birthday about celebrating THEM! Fix their favorite breakfast, share their favorite treat with their class (if it is allowed), fix their favorite dinner and prepare their favorite cake.
- Start family traditions early that are not based on expensive gifts, costly outings or ’super’ events.
- For all children, talk to them and see what they would like to do on their birthday!
- Emphasize non-material recognitions of the day such as a special birthday plate used only on those days. (Our’s says ‘You Are Special’ which means we can use it for a variety of celebrations. I bought it at an outlet years ago for $4).
- Growing up, the birthday child in our family got to choose the night’s dinner menu and choose the TV show we watched.
- Serve dinner on the fancy dishes once in awhile and recognize someone’s accomplishment.